okaasan
january 24a, 2004
this is my mom. i don't look anything like her. well, according to what people have told me that is. everytime people see me with my parents together, the first thing they exclaim is "you look JUST like your dad!" granted, my dad is a decent looking guy and all but there's something disconcerting about me looking like a member of the opposite sex. this also means that i look like my brother - which i have also been told on numerous occasions as well i.e. "you look just like the female version of ____!" granted also, my brother is a good loking chap and so that's ok and all but STILL! i'd like to be referred to as looking more feminine though, perhaps like my mom or sister but it's rare that someone will see similarities in us.
since i worked on half a day on friday, i went home and took my mom to have some japanese food. you can see my mom posing with the edamame in hand and the salmon sashimi in front of her. :p when i was younger, i used to be really close to my mom. but when i started dating more in my early twenties, i became more occupied with that and spent less time with her. i don't think i ever really re-bridged that closeness with her again though - perhaps it's because our ways of thinking and our opinions on things are so different that we tend to clash and argue. and since she's a mom, she knows exactly which buttons to push.
the more i look at my mom, the more i wonder if i'll become like her in my later years. already, she has quite a bit of illnesses that i'll be highly proned to if i don't take care of myself now. so i'm trying to watch what i eat and exercise and drop excess weight. in some ways, i'm a lot like her now - i can be very warm to some people and very cool at the same time. i like to cook and throw get togethers just like her. i tend to lean towards artistic tendencies, like her. i can also be sarcastic as hell. just like her. i keep a lot of things bottled inside. also, like her. she makes funny faces, jokes around and embarasses me in public. just like her - i do all that with my friends. there's probably many other traits that i may not even realize yet or perhaps i don't want to admit to.
i think my mom sacrificed a lot for us. if she could do it all over again - i think she would have gone to art school and developed her skills there and would have turned it into something lucrative. but instead, she remained a housewife and made sure we got the best in everything. i'm her youngest and i think i will always remain her baby.
