overwhelmed
june 27, 2005
^ CM is a master sculptor with play-doh
i'm disappointed that this month, i haven't written as much as i would have wanted to. there are so many things to catch up on here in this journal. things from april. from may. from my hearst castle & cambria trip. and now it's nearing the end of june. and i haven't begun to even touch on anything that i wanted to mention. i have clusters of photos sitting in my computer longing to be posted and mentioned about, stories and events waiting to be documented, prose and words idly on stand by - while i pray that i won't forget what i wanted to talk about initially. still, there's not enough time in 24 hours to call my own.
alas, the main culprit is work.
i am so absorbed into this project for an upgrade at work except that for my portion of work, it's not an upgrade but an entirely brand new module to learn, use, set up and have ready by august 8th. while the rest of the company is focusing on some upgrade features and a relatively new interface, i'm sitting there praying that i'll be ready when we "go live".
they've graciously brought in a consultant for me and who will be handling my project solely but i'm feeling overwhelmed by it all. i'm still unsure of how to utilize it and to be quite frank, my performance review and leverage is riding on this. although i'm sure that i will pick it up eventually, it all just seems to bit too daunting at this time.
this upgrade is actually like a second job for me. in the midst of everything, i still have to balance my primary job and keep that running smoothly while immersing myself into this new software. as much as i've been wanting improvements and automation in my job and as much as i've pintpointed the weaknesses in the work process, it's still a one-woman show. i feel like i'm a circus act juggling ignited molotov cocktails. on one hand i'm glad that the company is recognizing the need for making advancements in my work process but on the other hand, am i biting off more than i can swallow?
it's quite hard to believe that i've been back at work for nearly 3 years now. i for one certainly miss the days of being a tai tai.
anyway, in the coming weeks, look for me backtracking through the past few months of photos and stories. yes, they will be outdated but i still need to get them down on paper.
currently listening to: deep dish, flashdance
