reins
march 22, 2005
i've canceled nearly all the appointments i had set up for ths week. which means, no dance class, no doctor's appointments etc. the only thing i'm really keeping is the JKD class since i've already paid for everything in advance. i even signed up for a private class with one of the sifus since i feel like i have so much to learn and i am so behind everyone else in class. like dance class, group classes and private lessons are so different yet so crucial in complementing one another. group classes seem to progress at lightning speeds and you just pray you are doing things correctly. one of the sifus helped me do some one on one work during group class time and it's then that i realized how much i need to really get under my belt (figuratively speaking). as simple as some of the basics look, they are actually a perfect fusion of movements assembled together to produce a result of power - whether in a kick or a punch. but the basics is exactly where i need to begin and build from.
although there is no belt system at my school, there are different test levels to see how proficient you are with the skills you have acquired. i secretly have a goal to pass certain tests within a certain time frame. i'm not sure if i will succeed or if i will fail but all i can say is that i will try to put my all into it and see where that takes me. i'm actually quite relieved to hear that there is no belt system though. this should be something i want to learn and enjoy - i don't want to feel like i am going to my macro economics class with a blue book ready take my final.
i just hope that what i learn in JKD class will become second nature to me one day and it will just be a reflex without thought, without consciousness of my own actions. it will just be a reaction. all i can say is that JKD class has become a very humbling experience for me.
niece #2 should be making her appearance tomorrow 3/23. SIL N is scheduled to be induced in the morning. the actual due date is on 4/3 but with the complications of the pregnancy over these past 7 weeks, it's a miracle that baby sofia has been baking in the oven as long as she has. but it's time and so she should be here very soon. i'm sure there will be photos to follow once i meet her for the first time. i'm actually very very anxious to see what she will look like and if she will look like her older sister. at least this time, auntie winnie will be much more acclimated at taking care of babies. :p the first time around, i didn't even know how to hold one when i was baby sitting her at 1 week old. =:o
spring is almost here and that means daylight savings time is on the horizon. like every year, i look forward to the longer days and the summery evenings in comparison to the total darkness at 5pm back in the fall winter seasons. like most people, i usually cannot get into a workout routine until daylight savings arrives. it's just plain hard to get to muster the motivation when you'd rather be inside with a cup of hot chocolate and watching tv. but i'm feeling proud of myself this year. this year, i felt that i didn't dawdle and i didn't make excuses and got my ass in gear during the middle of winter. i set out to do the things that i wanted to and i set out to make a commitment to myself. no more fucking around anymore, i said.
although i don't feel like i have great control over my life, at least i'm trying to take the reins and do something with it. i want to at least by the end of this year say that i tried to better myself physically, emotionally & mentally. i've spent so many years saying "if only i did this..." or "i wished i had started this.." or "why didn't i try that?"
i don't want to spend my life regretting and wondering. i subscribe to the adage that life is too short and you just don't know where you will be in the next moment, let alone tomorrow. so why not take initiative to do what you want now? there's a bit of selfishness to it and i don't plan ahead like many people do. instead, i just live from one day to the next wondering what awaits me around the corner.
thanks to mare for reminding me that asian LA women also go to the drugstore to pick up pregnancy tests. how could i forget that! so yes, tampons, hemorrhoid gel and pregnancy tests while holding our super big gulp. really, life in the big city is not as glamourous as most people would think.
currently listening to: wild world, maxi priest
