the latter 30's
february 21, 2006
so i'm recovering from this never-ending cough....i haven't had a sore throat and phlegmy cough like this in ages! it's totally insane. there's nothing more irritating and tiring than a cough that is just persistent. especially when you're sitting in a rather quiet office and you can't control it. i feel sorry for those sitting around me. they probably want to slap a gauzey mouth guard over me or something. just like how they do in asia right? but it's coming close to the end. thank god.
anyway, i've been meaning to write here and post a few entries. but there's always excuses. but mainly it's because i'm sick. and i'm really tired.
this year really hasn't started off on the right foot i tell you. it's really time to turn it around.
and now we're nearly ending february. and only 1 more week of being 35 until i go over to the other side of the 30's. kind of like the over the hump of the 30's. you're not in the early thirties anymore. no, you're in the latter part now baby. somehow, it's really bothering me. more than i thought it would really.
maybe it's because i still think of myself as 26. and i don't have kids. and i still wearing kind of young clothes and everyone at work still thinks i'm in my twenties anyway.
but man, i see dem lines on my face and they aren't fading away like they used to after you smile. no wonder i'm not smiling much anymore. it's true what those crazy women magazines all say....when you're in your thirties, your skin is no longer that resilient and you start to dry up. ugh.
maybe i'm making this into something more than it really is but turning 36 is really playing tricks on my mind. i somehow feel like i've lost my prime. i've lost the edge. i've lost time to really be who i am. i know it's all whacked up thinking but i can't help it.
it's also making me SUPER introspective too. i've been thinking alot about the friendships i have and those in my life. i've been wondering if those really are people who do care about me as i do them or am i just wasting my time on fruitless friendships that only take take take. maybe it's time to forge new friendships and strengthen the ones i still hold dear.
i'm not really planning on any celebrations this year. unless of course some of you want to hang out with a middle-aged lady?
oh yeah, this has also been keeping me kind of occupied too. my valentines day/early birthday present from TGILW (the guy i live with - it's amazing how many people didn't know what this meant).
it's the canon digital rebel xt.
i'm in love.
now, i just need to really put it to good use.
currently listening to: peter presta feat. bonse, totally hooked
