cha soba
july 26, 2006
i'm kinda bummed today because of my health. i just feel like my body is not my body anymore. the side effects are *really* bothering me to no end. i'm puffy. i'm swollen. i'm retaining water like a camel. i'm arthritic. i'm suffering from joint pains like crazy. and now my blood pressure is really high. that's all on top of the hot flashes, headaches, depression and memory loss.
so bummed after seeing two doctors today. my ob gyn put me on an add back therapy to put some estrogen back into me to see if it will ease some of my symptoms. god, i pray that it helps me because i'm pretty useless these days. i feel like i'm in the body of a 55 year old. if this add back therapy isn't going to alleviate my side effects, i don't think i can continue on it. it's....insanity right now.
also saw a new allergist to begin another couple years of allergy immunotherapy. my ucla medical center doctor referred this doc to me - who happens to be in my hood. so it's all good. but he served me with depressing news that i've been taking some medications that isn't good for me for many years and that i'll probably have a full blown allergic reaction to it in the near future if i don't stop. and now i'm wondering why those other docs who knew i had an allergic reaction to this didn't tell me so?
the new allergist is kind of stoic but nice. dry sense of humor. everyone in his office speaks cantonese which means i can't talk shit about anyone there. but damn, another 2 years (at least) of this type of injections....makes me very disheartened.
sometimes i wonder if there's no end to it all.
plus, it's so hard to be optimistic about the future.
...
tonight i made a nice tasty dinner of cold cha soba (green tea soba noodles) for the fam. i also made some tofu poke (which was really tasty and good for those who don't like raw fish), hijiki (marinated seaweed) and some niku jaga (stewed meat and potatoes dish japanese style) to go along with the cha soba.
on a hot day like today, soba noodles are a good way to go. but in this weather, slaving over the stove isn't how i really want to spend my afternoon.
the food was great though. everyone enjoyed their own little tray of happiness. it's funny how even though i'm so fatigued from all the meds that i still have the desire to think of things to cook for others.
talk about bi-polar.
currently listening to: evanescence, my immortal
